| From my sister's blog. God bless u Brownie! you squeezed through the gaps of our old brown gates 14 years ago.
i still remember it clearly.
you were this tiny thing. trotting your way along the driveway as if it were your home. we were having dinner. i was 7. i stood on my chair. a stray at first, you were chased out. we got back to our dinner. and you squeezed your way in again. no barks. just trots. the dad brought you around the estate to see if you belonged to anyone. you were tiny enough to just sit in the dad's palms. no struggle no barks. you placed your front two paws on the dad's chest quietly. no one claimed you. and i'm glad no one did.
i remember you were no ordinary dog, a stray with no toys unlike other dogs.
i remember never noticing you growing bigger. you always looked the same to me. always that same tiny thing.
i remember you being this brown patch that moved swiftly through the slits of the brown picket fence and next thing i know, you're there by the front gate welcoming us home.
i remember you being this eager dog- everytime you hear the horn of the car, you'll be by the gate, welcoming us home, but more so cos it was your chance to go out of the house to mark your territory. you were so eager that even before the the car would reverse in, you would trot out.
i remember the brown patch browsing through the garden, then to the gate, waiting eagerly. and the car only just arriving and did not even sound its horn.
i remember you sneaking out when the gate opened, and you whimpering cos you got locked out. it was only then did i realise that you had grown. because you could not squeeze through the gaps anymore.
i remember sneaking you into the house when no one except mila, you and i were home. i sat/laid on the sofa watching tv, and you just laid by the sofa i was on, watching tv with me. i'd stroke your back or pat you in between commercials and you looked pampered. hmm. i wonder why no one commented that there was dog hair in the house. o_O
i remember you squeezing through the holes of the grills, trotting happily through the house to get from the front lawn to the back, and back to front. you'd take short-cuts or retreat from the hole you were halfway crawling through when you saw the mum. when the mum caught you, you'd be hasty, not trot. but most times, you just trot happily.
i remember you refusing to eat your breakfast of bread and butter unless someone watched you. then you'll lick the butter of the bread first, before eating the bread. when you're done, you'll look at the person with satisfaction, as if you just performed a feat.
i remember how the mum would always chase and nag at you early in the morning just to get you to eat your breakfast so that the birds wont take your breakfast away.
i remember you always lying by the front grill, taking a nap or just waiting for other dogs to come by.
i remember you lying by the front grill after being scolded for sneaking out. sad for awhile. but gleeful later. i never understood why.
i remember you always trying to do what you can to protect the house with your barks. and only your barks. you were brave. lab's hopeless in this department cos he's scared of everyone.
funny. but i remember coming home one sunday afternoon, only to find that you had killed your first chameleon-like lizard. the 4 of us crowding roung the dead thing, and you stood at the side looking at the thing too, as if trying to show us what you had done. you werent proud or gleeful. you thought you were doing your job. the mum had to clean your mess whilst you trotted about doing your own stuff.
i also remember you as the poor thing who got into a fight and got attacked by the neighbour's alsasion when it sneaked into our garden when the gates were opened because of some renovation work we were doing. and you were doing your best at being the guard dog. a job you took upon yourself. i remember the scab wounds you had. and you didnt dare go out of the house for awhile.
i remember taking you for walks. but you walked me instead. ran me rather.
i remember how you and lab struggled to get along when lab first came home. but just didnt bother about him after awhile.
i remember you not being able to walk when it was cold cos of your rheumatism. i realised you were slowly getting old.
i remember how you slowly lost your hearing and your eyesight. i realised you were really getting very old.
i remember you walking into walls, and gradually having to make a couple of rounds before being able to stand up. and you looked battered and dirty because you'd always walk in the rain, sleep in the sun and lay around the wet grass. i realised that you were so old.
i remember your first case of ticks because lab's tick problem was really bad, and the ticks got onto you. and i remember being surprised how i had no problems with you when the peeps from the pet grooming centre came to bring you to their centre to de-tick you because this was your first trip out of the estate. i remember you trotting across the front lawn whilst lab laid by the drain nervous as shite. it was only after you got into the cage you started whining cos you became scared with the unfamiliar.
i would like to apologise.
i apologise for the tooth that lab knocked out and ate.
i apologise for the times that lab irritated the shite our of you.
i apologise for the stress that lab created for you.
i apologise for the times that lab stole your food from you.
i apologise if i have not showered you with enough love since lab came.
if you must know, and i think you should know, lab misses you. i've never seen him so sad before.
we miss you.
i miss you.
brownie, it's been a good 14 years.
i love you.
when they took you away today, you whimpered.
my heart sank.
something in me just shutdown.
i cant cry.
i occupied myself with tv.
but now, here i am lying on my bed, unable to sleep.
brownie.
brownie.
brownie.
*sniff*
you were a blessing. |
